After nearly 8 years, I finally raced again. It's been so long that it's hard for me to remember all the details of what happened that day. It was Fall of 2005, my Junior Year in high school, and I had been dealing with a strange back issue where the thoracic area of my spine was hyperflexible. No matter what I did back then: I was always uncomfortable. Aside from regular visits to the chiropractor and heat/ice, there was little they could do to help the pain but being the stubborn Smash that I am, I kept pushing through until that last race.
That was when everything changed. It was early in the Cross Country season so it was still hot and humid in North Carolina. I had been feeling "better" at that point but looking back I think I had stopped listening to my body telling me to take it easy because I wanted to be able to run and was so tired of the pain. So I went for it. And I went hard. I was toward the front of the pack, close to the lead when things went down hill. I want to say it was after the 1st mile mark of the 5k, just before the 2nd when I started to feel funky. My eyes were doing things, I became super winded, and well I'd boarded the struggle bus. It was just after the 2nd mile marker (from what I remember) when I took myself out of the race. I knew something was wrong when black dots were becoming larger and I'm pretty sure trees were spinning around me. It was a nightmare come to life. When I pulled myself off the course I realized I wasn't really breathing. My back was screaming. Oh, and they tried to cut my lucky sports bra off when I went closed my eyes and went silent as I tried to pull myself together. At that point, I shot up and pushed people away from me. There was NO way in hell that anyone was going to cut anything off me, especially not my lucky sports bra!
After that, I don't remember running a race again. I might have but I can honestly say I don't remember any. I created a block in my mind. Psyched myself out of running. I just stopped. I wouldn't do distance anymore. I look back now and think how silly and want to say stupid I was for letting that one race make me quit something I'd been doing since my first steps as a 9 month old: RUNNING.
FAST FORWARD to February of 2013: I FINALLY RACED AGAIN.
Back in December I decided I was going to take a trip to California to see one of my best friends. I also decided that I was going to run a race while I was out there. Once we finalized the dates, myself and Jess (one of my favorite followers on Tumblr) picked the Timberwolf 5k to run. I was really excited to plan out this run with someone. Why? Because I wouldn't be able to chicken out the morning of (like I've done several times in the past year...)
My goal for the race was to run at least a 22:00. I know I can do faster, and I've done faster but the hip issue that I've been working through lately had me on #GimpStatus and I wasn't sure how well I was going to do. I placed first in my age group (19-24) and I ran a 22:02. THOSE 2 SECONDS DRIVE ME NUTS! The course is a USATF Certified course. Oh hai rankings..... The race itself felt awful to me. I didn't have my gum, this felt off, that felt bad but I finished! We finished.
What's funny is how I finished the race: the same way I used to run most of my races. I'm not a front of the pack kind of girl for the start of a race. I don't know I'm doing it until I finish but in the last half mile of the race I start passing people. Things get so easy for me with that last half mile. It's like I'm floating. And I love that I raced how I used to, without even realizing I was doing it. I am so proud of myself for finally running a race. It wasn't as good as I wanted it to be but it was close and has left me wanting more! I know what I need to work on and well definitely need to work on my finish and getting my 5k down to a 20:00 or lower! BUT GUYS! SMASH IS BACKKKKK!!!
It still baffles me that I waited so long to race again because it's clearly a part of me. Running and racing and competition is in my blood. Now, I'm still trying not to psych myself out for the next races but I'm so excited and have caught the bug!
My next race is on St. Pattys day where I'll be running with 3 sponsored male athletes in a Relay Marathon. Yes, sponsored guys: Brooks sponsored, Adidas Sponsored, Mizuno Sponsored. Me? Not sponsored. Cool guys, cool. More details on this coming soon! And maybe a photo of my sweet team gear too! (Which I haven't officially received yet but it's probably going to be purple!!)
No comments:
Post a Comment